Author: thebillypulpit

I like to get the trash out early on trash night, but Roommate’s philosophy is, “Every bit of trash generated in this house before the truck comes tomorrow needs to be in the bin before the truck gets here.” Our compromise is I take the green and black bins out at 7 (set for when … Continue reading Trash Night →

Our first summer with an exchange student was not my idea, but here was this 17-year-old Italian boy from Spain holding a suitcase in the foyer of our new house, introducing himself to my almost 7YO daughter. (I wasn't concerned until my stepfather-in-law asked me if I was concerned, and then I remembered the talk … Continue reading America, 1991 – 2020 →

By the time it came on the evening Cable News, it felt like the story was days old, but then I remembered that nothing stays in the news for days anymore. American Gestapo? Was it just this morning that we heard the first eyewitness reports of unmarked police forces snatching protesters off the streets without … Continue reading Federal Police? →

I got a text from downstairs this morning before I woke up.  “All set to make a frittata, but there are no onions.” (We have unlimited text messaging.) After a long day helping deliver clean and reliable energy from the informal sauna of my Home Office, I came downstairs to make myself a salad for … Continue reading Taco Tuesday →

When this Whole Thing got started, I was already growing my hair out a little bit, and then they shut the Barber shops, and it was three months before they opened them again. I kinda like the way I look with the longer hair. Like college.  I have been wearing a headband on all the … Continue reading Friday Night, Summer, 2020 →

Maria behind the counter at Vons rested her hand on the neck of the bottle of wine I wanted to buy and breathed deeply, twice, so that her cloth face mask puffed out. I hadn’t seen her in a couple of months, and I was stumped for something clever yet welcoming to say. “Have you … Continue reading Awakening at Vons →

A few years back, before the Lockdown, I was concerned about some abdominal distension I was noticing, so I made an appointment with my doctor to have him appraise it. To my dismay, he was concerned as well and sent me for an MRI, or some sort of advanced diagnostic tool, to see what was … Continue reading Friday Night Triggered Memory →

Here's something I would not have written BP (Before Pandemic). Today in Vons (still no Clorox, Lysol, or Purell), the guy who directs the next person in the checkout line to the next available register, of course maintaining social distance, pulled his mask down and asked me, “How old were you when that happened?” as … Continue reading One Small Step →

I can see my neighbors' driveway from my home office window. All 4 of their cars have been parked in that driveway for 2 weeks and a day now, and they haven't moved in all that time.  One is so close to my yard that I feel a neighborly duty to check the wind forecast … Continue reading Working from Home, Day 11 →

Hey Chuck.  Your birthday is coming up tomorrow, and it’s the Year 2020, so I thought I’d provide an update on what’s been going on. Remember back in’89 when they convinced 1/7th of the state’s population to stay indoors one night per week while they “sprayed for medflies” from helicopters flying in formation?  Even though … Continue reading Your Voice Mail Was Full Again →